The traditional concept
of marriage is in a chronic state of decay. According to the survey report
published by Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research (2006), which looked into the
issue of family and marriage’s perception of Generation-Y – those who born in
era of globalization between 1980 and 2000, less than half of the surveyed
population perceived marriage as one of the most important institutions in
life. Instead, fifty-nine percent of them viewed cohabitation as a legitimate
process or stage, known as De Facto marriage, in an intimate relationship. There
go the days with conservative sequence of courtship rituals in which a man and
a woman will go out for a few dates followed by more frequent dates that
gradually build the base of the two into an exclusive relationship, which
eventually ends them up in a formal engagement followed by marriage
dissolutions. Modern dating has a new step now that comes before engagement as
an essential way to test-drive the relationship, that is shacking up under the
same roof or in simple words – living together.
According to McManus
(2010), Census Bureau recently reported that 7.5 million couples were
cohabitating, which shows a great leap with seventeen-fold increase from
430,000 in 1960. This prominent statistic has drawn us into concern about the roots
of the issue. One of the main reasons that drive cohabitation trend among
Y-generation is the traits associated with these echo boomers nowadays – that is
open-mindedness, bewilderness, flexibility and authority-challenge like behaviours (Yuphaphann
Hoonchamlong, 2006), which eventually alter their concept of marriage. Quoted
from a survey done by University of Hawaii cited by Tinus (2013), Y-generation seems
to be more culturally tolerant than the past generations and more open to new
ideas and alternate lifestyles. They are not afraid to speak their mind and
challenge the norm with emphasis on self-fulfilment and individual happiness (Yuphaphann
Hoonchamlong, 2006; Tinus, 2013). Such attitudes and characteristics are
believed to play a crucial role in causing a shift of marital concept in them from
“Till death us do part” to “as long as I am happy” which then lead them into
cohabitation (Institute for American Values, 1995).
With this marital
concept as the roots, people tend to act according to their instincts or feelings to ensure
happiness by opposing the custom of courtship ritual. For instances, many have
given the similar statement that they live together simply because they are
deep in love with each other for the present moment and cohabitate is a
witnessed evidence of how they treasure and maintain the relationship as future
cannot be predicted. The present joyfulness is what concerned them more and they
seem to take advantage of cohabitation as a non-legal institution which still
retains their “single” status even if the couple find them not suitable after the
living together. With that, all sorts of reasons, or might as well be known as
excuses, appear to support cohabitation such as saving money for dating,
determining the compatibility of the partnership, getting use to daily life
habit of partners and so on (Alternatives to Marriage Project, 2013). In
support of that, an interview with Generation-Y cohabiters (Yuphaphann
Hoonchamlong, 2006) also stated that most of them choose to engage in cohabitation
due to uncertainties of whether their partner or they themselves are able to
show consistent commitment in the relationship, which eventually leads them
into this “test-drive” before marriage. From such reasons provided by the
Y-generation cohabiters, the tendency of running away from responsibility of
lifetime commitment to marriage is not hard to be identified, which is the main
cause explaining why most studies term cohabitation as bad for not only it is
against the custom, but leads to premarital divorce most of the time.
In
short, the concept towards relationship and marriages of Generation-Y are clearly being
redefined to make space for alternatives and whatever direction that they are
heading to in the society, this new trend of cohabitation performed by them is
getting into an uncharted territory with many pros and cons being negotiated as
the same time. Quoted from the saying of a famous writer named Milan Kundera, “When
the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object”. It is understandable
of the boldness of love concept displayed by the Generation-Y today with
cohabitation as a practical way for them to express sincere love to the other
half as well as making absolute certitude that the one that touches or moves
their heart will guide them towards a happily-ever-after relationship but not
divorce in the end. However, the public doubt on maturity and rationality of
the young cohabiters of whether they treat cohabitation as a “marriage of
convenience” or a trial “marriage of commitment” remains a navigable myth.
References
Alternatives to
Marriage Project. (2013). Cohabitation
F.A.Q.. Retrieved from http://www.unmarried.org/cohabitation-f.a.q.html
Greenberg
Quinlan Rosner Research. (2005, September). Gen-Y
on marriage: Triumph of hope over experience. Coming of Age in America:
Part 2. Retrieved from http://gqrr.com/articles/1010/2618_COA20905.pdf
McManus. (2010, October
26). Divorce, cohabitation cost Maryland
millions and should be part of the gubernatorial debate. Retrieved from
http://articles.baltimoresun.com
Institute for
American Values. (1995). Marriage in
America: A report to the nation. Retrieved from http://www.americanvalues.org/html/r-marriage_in_america.html
Tinus, D.
(2013). Characteristics & traits of
generation-y. Retrieved from http://www.ehow.com/info_8469348_characteristics-traits-generation-y.html
Yuphaphann
Hoonchamlong. (2006, May). Reaching
Generation Y: Integrating pop culture and technology in language instruction.
Paper presented at the 1st World Congress on the Power of Language, Bangkok,
Thailand. Abstract retrieved from http://www.yhoonchamlong.net/e-present/pop-tech-thai-2006.pdf
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